Saturday, November 14, 2009

"The insignificances of daily life are the importances & tests of eternity, because they prove what spirit really posses us! It is in our most unguarded moments that we really show and see what we are"

- Andrew Murray


"People loved to have lived a great life & story, but few people like the work it takes to make it happen. But joy costs pain."

"There is a force resisting beautiful things in the world, & too many of us are giving in"

"The greatest trick of the Devil is not to get us into some sort of evil. But rather to get us comfortable and into wasting time. If he can sink a mans mind into habit, he can prevent a mans heart from engaging God and the world around him."

-Donald Miller

I turned 25 a little over a week ago. 25 years on this earth. Every breath and every day has been a gift. I am thankful for where I am. Thankful for who I have become and who I am becoming. Never when I was younger did I imagine I would be playing in a Rock band for a living and be married to a girl like Melissa. I am happy, content, and proud of where I am at.

But then there is also a restlessness. A restlessness knowing that I am not truly who I wish I was. Not restless in the since that I wish I had more money or a better job. But a restlessness in knowing I could be a better me. That I could live the insignificances of daily life in a deeper way. I could be kinder to people & I could love others better. I wish I did not waist time as I do & I wish I prayed more. I wish i thought about others more than myself & that i was a better husband. I wish I was more joyful and I wish I really thought of everyday as gift. I could go on forever....

I am not saying these things because I feel sorry for myself. Its just that I have been stepping back and examining my life some lately, and realizing there is so much more I want from me. Life is so short. It could be over tomorrow. I have lived 25 years. Lived some of it really really well and yet also wasted alot of it. I desperately want more. I desperately want to live life to the fullest.

25 years. I hope that I get 25 more. I hope and pray that I can live them well. That I can live them even better than my first 25. The older I get the more I realize how little I really have figured out. My greatest enemy is and always will be ME. I am always trapped in my own self interest.

James 4:14 "Yet you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes."


"ME is a most exacting personage, requiring the best seat and the highest place for itself, & feeling grievously wounded if its claim is not recognized. Most of our quarrels (among people) arise from the clamoring of this gigantic ME. How few of us understand the true secret of life.....that is taking our seats in the lowest of rooms. "

- Hannah Whitall Smith

3 comments:

Valerie said...

Sigh, Jamey. I just finished posting on my FB that I was thankful that my frustrating, stressful day was over. I snapped at my husband, my kids and my mom today, for no good reason other than I felt irritable and crabby. A joy to be around!
Then I read your blog about wanting to be a better person; less selfish, more loving; one who truly rejoices in each and every day. The awareness of the wanting is the first step. I commend you for that. And I thank you & your blog for helping me to see that.
Cheers! :-)

Hannah said...

You are an amazing human being who has touched so many lives. Your music touches people, but also your openness about your faith. It's always good to strive for more, but be happy with where you are at. Be present with the gifts you have now. You and Melissa are making a difference in the world, and you're way ahead of most people your age. Thanks for sharing such personal thoughts.

urghiggi said...

here is a poem for you, dear one, verse 3 especially....

http://www.religion-online.org/showarticle.asp?title=385

may the divine discontent pull you to a closer relationship with the One who made you to play your music. always remember the love is unconditional and embraces you regardless of any perceived shortcomings on your part. solo dei gloria.

julie